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Thoughts to Ponder.....

Crystal and Dave ~ Halloween 2005~
~Silly and Goofy~
Today..I buried my friend..1/5/06 R.I.P my friend....

I buried my friend today....

01/05/06
I buried my friend today....the man I thought I would always have as my friend...

I buried my friend today...the man that made me laugh harder than I ever had....

I buried my friend today...the man that gave me goosebumps when he sang to me...

I buried my friend today...the man that kissed me like I have never been kissed before....

I buried my friend today...the man that made love to me with passion....

I buried my friend today...the man that created life with me....

I buried my friend today...the man that made me choose death for that life....

I buried my friend today...the man that took his friendship away without even asking me....

I buried my friend today...the man that won't even speak to me....

I buried my friend today...the man that said "I hope you understand"....

TODAY....I buried that friend....

goodbye....my friend...

 

Crystal Evans 1/5/06

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Saturday, December 17, 2005
 
Let's sum up this year shall we?...Well, for starters, I pack up my kids from their home, school and friends and move them back to Escanaba, leaving behind the one person I thought maybe I would be with till death....
THEN...October 1st I meet an incredible man in Green Bay (see below for details)...and it's wonderful.  He keeps asking me "why are you so nice to me?"...my answer.."because you let me"..well..that went on for about 11 weeks as he says and then out of the clear blue sky drops the bomb on me that he is going to be going on the road and driving truck for himself....leaving everything he has behind...including me..
WHAT THE GOD DAMN HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE ANY OF THIS SHIT????????????????
I'm kind, tenderhearted...a giver...NEVER take..put the ones I love on top of the world....I guess it's true what they say "nice guys finish last"...
Truth be told...it'll be a cold day in HELL before I EVER trust a man....care for a man....or put my heart out to a man....it only gets stepped on over and over again...
Love is way overrated...and I will NEVER EVER have any part of it again...
This may sound quite harsh...but I am hurt....and confused and completely frustrated and am sick and tired of being a door mat....and a push over...
I'm done!!!!  I'm all done...
Have a nice life Dave....I hope one day you will realize that I would have given you the world..if you would have just let me into yours...
You could have been loved by me....
 
2006....had BETTER be a better year...or I'll be pushin up daisies by the time I'm 40...
 
I just wanna love....and be loved....is that too much to ask?..by anyone?
 
*think of me when you snuggle yer blanket?*
 
Goodbye 2005!...YOU SUCK!!
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The missing piece....

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November 1, 2005
 
Boy, how life can change so fast in 2 months?..let me tell ya ...I packed up my boys, left my job and moved back to Escanaba.  It amazes me how you are expecting one thing to happen...and then out of the clear blue sky...WHAM!  you're faced with a new adventure. 
Thinking that my life would never be the same again...I walked right out the door...and thought I would be looking over my shoulder every minute..just wondering..what next?..
Sometimes life has a way of showing you things that you really didn't think you could handle...or that you really didn't want to see.
My heart has been broken for such a long time...I didn't think anything other than time could heal it...truth be told...I found myself picking up the pieces on my own...and putting it all back together...but ....there was still one piece missing...it had been swept  away...and I couldn't find it anywhere....when someone.. I have only seen once in my entire life...walked up to me...held out his hand and said "does this belong to you?"...it was the last piece of my heart...Thank you Dave for picking up the last piece...and making my heart whole again...
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